Hadley Tarantino, M.A.
Tips for Couples in First Year of Marriage
-Establish boundaries with in-laws and extended family.
Are you both okay with a parent dropping by unannounced? Do you want to continue weekly meals with his entire family? These are great conversations to have in a first year of marriage so you both are on the same page with what the other finds comfortable.
-Talk about money.
Disagreement and conflict surrounding finances are among the top reasons why couples separate. What are some money beliefs you are bringing with you into the marriage? Decide what you are comfortable saving and spending. Create a budget and continue to discuss finances in an open way.
-Continue to date each other.
Just because you are now married doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to date your partner. What are some of your favorite hobbies and interests together? Try to go on a date each week. It can be as simple as going for a walk together to talk about your week, making and eating dinner together, or going out to celebrate your "first" of anything as a married couple.
-Learn each other's love language.
Have you taken the quiz to see which love language you and your partner speak? The five love languages are acts of service, physical touch, giving gifts, words of affirmation, and quality time. This is an extremely important part of a relationship: to know which language your partner speaks and also how they receive love and support. Arming yourself with this knowledge will help you know how to express your love to your partner in a way they can receive and understand.
-Learn how to express conflict in a healthy manner.
Newlyweds can disagree on a whole lot in the first year of marriage. This may be the first time you live with your partner and conflict will arise. Learn how to fight fair. If you were unhappy with the way conflict was expressed in your dating relationship, your relationship as newlyweds will see the same patterns emerge. Establish a new way of healthy disagreement and stay away from the four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.