• Hadley Tarantino, M.A.

Problems with your In-Laws? Read This.

Conflict and tension with a partner's in-laws may emerge as you get engaged or start to take things more seriously. Some signs that your in-laws are impacting your relationship may include feelings of wanting to avoid family gatherings, difficulty talking about your in-laws with your partner, and feelings of resentment or exhaustion.

As a therapist, I believe there are very few situations that would indicate a cut-off from in-laws. When you consider cutting off your in-laws you may think you're getting rid of the problem, but the actual dormant issue remains. The relationship with your partner becomes very vulnerable and will most likely play out the same pattern that you were so desperately trying to escape from. With the implementation of clear boundaries and a strong, unified front with your partner, a healthy and active relationship with your in-laws is possible. Distance and boundaries is not the same thing as a complete emotional cut-off.

If you are newly engaged and there are recurring issues that bother you with your future in-laws, talk to your partner. These issues will not magically disappear once you get married. Discuss with your partner what kind of role you would like their parents to play in your relationship. Continue to communicate and set boundaries.

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